xheartache's Aeonity Blog
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home alonee...

Dec 16th, 2006 2:03:49 am - Subscribe

ive been so bored lately..
rayner leaves me at home...
in this hot-arse weather and goes to his mates pool..!
glad i left work..!!

things have been going on between us..
he said he wasnt sure if he loved me anymore and wants to spend more time apart which is totally wierd because when we first started going out...we were inseprable..you didnt have noe without the other, and now im at home, bored shitless in my hot room while he lazying buy a nice cool pool.
i dont know what to do..
i dont know if i should shut up..
or if i should tell him how i feel...now...later..tomorrow....

im scared he is going to walk all over me and expect me to stay around..
i couldnt live without him. i would have absolutely nothing to live for..
i have no friends...no job..nothing..
and he just keep me on his string of things to do..
i know its one night and a couple of friends..
but its the fact that im here bored waiting for him..
nearly every single night.

should a relationship be like this?
mood: bored
music: take the time and talk about itt...
(1) comments

avatar emogirlie

December 16th, 2006

No, I wouldn't want that relationship. Hmm... you say you don't have friends or a job. Well, go out, get a job, and make friends. Your boyfriend shouldn't come before you. I know it's wonderful to put your whole heart into someone, into the realtionship, but sometimes, if you do that, you get let down. I know I sure do, all the time. Remember, people are going to care about their needs more than your needs always and forever. Some people are jsut more needy and willing to give more than others.

And why is he at this pool and your not? If he likes you, why doesn't he include you? If he's going to be a jerk and leave you behind, go out and have some fun of your own. Don't wait around for things to happen. Make things happen.

But don't feel bad about your situation. I've been there. After I dropped out of college and I didn't have a job... and all my friends went to school all day and I just sat around and waited for night time to see Carl. But that wasn't good... because I wasn't focusing on me and my needs.

I suggest, you get some focus. Make some goals. And talk to your boyfriend. If someone said they weren't sure if they loved me anymore, I'd flip out and be very, very upset. So yes, communcate. And make sure he knows that you want respect. You deserve more than this. Don't let yourself be walked on. It won't happen if you don't let it happen.

And I know how you feel... about the whole... I'd die without him... thing. I know I'd break down if Carl ever left me or stopped seeing me. But you have to realize that things happen cause they're meant to. You could die tomorrow. So could he. It's good to give your heart away, but make sure you can take it back.

Good luck. Wow. This was long. Sorry if I'm rambling... I'm kind of giving myself advice at the same time. tounge.gif

comment much??


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