xheartache's Aeonity Blog
misss me? / profile / back home


Jun 27th, 2006 6:45:34 pm - Subscribe

back to school...

ok i guess...

but so much stuff is fallling back on me!


there everywhere...

and i have done nothing to change it...


god im lazy!
mood: unsafe
(1) comments


Jun 19th, 2006 9:58:18 am - Subscribe

had my last exam today..

so like a week off now..

photography shit i need to catch up on..

so yeah...

back at home now...!
rayner's mother is getting a bit sick of me being around..
i dont know..
she is just making sure i leave on time now..
i dont know...
she annoys me sometimes..
most of the time she is awesome..
she does so much and i repsect her..

but then seh becomes really bitchy..
and mean..

i miss rayner...and its all her fault!
mood: asleep
(2) comments

are you open?

Jun 16th, 2006 9:09:27 pm - Subscribe

and i havne only one more exam to go to...

which is the big one!!

the big massive exam..
ill properbly cry before due to my nerves.

rayner and i lately have been having a decussion about having an "open" relationship...
but we still are together...and we tell each other everything..

but now he has decided no..
he doesnt want that...

but..we said...
i dont know...
i dont know where i stand...
but i said to him...
if the opotunity arises...
them go for it..

its love!
mood: cold
(0) comments


Jun 15th, 2006 3:42:36 am - Subscribe

been kinda sick lately..
exam stress!

i guess...

hasnt been the best of times for me..
wieght issues..
ya know..
people say im stupid for thinking that...
bet all girls think the same tho!

maybe not..
maybe its just me..

maybe im just ment to be like this...
maybe not...

carpe diem!
mood: sorry for myself...
(2) comments

go awayy..

Jun 11th, 2006 12:07:32 am - Subscribe

exams soon..
and im so sick..
i feel like shit...
and i have the worst pains in my mouth..
my gums are all tensed..
and it hurts to speak

and i have the worst headache..
i cant concentrate!


i cant believe this...

i hate school...

i want to do a tafe course in fashion design..!

but as fair as i can remember...
most courses you need a portfolio...
and i do do fashion design at school!!

mood: sore!
(2) comments


Jun 6th, 2006 6:08:35 am - Subscribe

schol is gay...

i realsied...
my whole life is consumed by school!!

i know other might say diffrent..
because im always with rayner...

but i realised...
that when people ask what ive been up to..
how am i ...

i always turn the conversation around to do with school...


its taking over..
mood: whelmed
(0) comments


Jun 5th, 2006 5:31:01 am - Subscribe

so much work to do...

and sooooo little time...

wasted the long weekend...

exams next week....



im scared...i dont want to dissapoint rayner...
but ill do ok...
im sitting on a B in maths...
which im kinda happy about...
level 5 in english

but oh well....

it will all be ok..
mood: lonely
(3) comments


Jun 4th, 2006 3:34:49 am - Subscribe

everything is ok now...

rayners parents have gone away form the weekend...

so were here alone...

and i have tones of shit to do for school!!!

exams are the week after next..
and i just think whats the point of trying really hard and studying and failing...

my stress levels are thorugh the roof right now...

and the best thing to do is just stop...

were gonig to the movies tonight with our friend alana and her boy...

should be ok...
not going to have fun...ill be stressing to much!!

i misss ryaner..
mood: pleased!
(0) comments


Jun 2nd, 2006 6:28:54 am - Subscribe

i miss you so much rayner!!!

mood: dead
(1) comments

who need em!

Jun 2nd, 2006 4:12:56 am - Subscribe

im sick of fighting with rayner..
he was really angry at me before he left for work over this...
and online blogg that i reveal thing on..

he feels that im letting the whole world into me and some of the tings i write on here, he doesnt know about..!!

to truely understand this situation..
you have to understand raynelly

rayner and i have been together for over 8 months..
we met over myspace..
and since we met....we have been inseparable
i lve about 30 minute car ride away from him..
so we didnt see each other as much as we would have liked to...
so i changed schools..(plus mine was hell)!!

we are togheter pretty much 24 hours a day!

rayner and i are extemely close!

and as i was working him to work..
he brought up his brother...which he thinks im cheating on him with..

rayner=so are you going to hang out with tayo tonight?
kelly=what is this about?
rayner=well you guys seem to hang out heaps now
kelly=this is really silly


kelly=are your going to say sorry?
rayner=do i have to?
kelly=do you want to?

kelly=well dont expect me ot say sorry for walknig away!*as i turned around*

rayner=you better not be home when i get back!


i dont know if i should stay or go home!

but he doesnt realsie that this is for me..
not for him...not for people on the internet!

its just an easier way of keeping a diary!!

i talk about things that he doesnt know i feel..
and he doesnt tell me everything!!

just another stupid fight for us..
and i really really really sick of him acting this way!
mood: rraawwrr!
(0) comments

purple=blue?? pfft!

Jun 2nd, 2006 3:07:11 am - Subscribe

dyed my hair...
turned out fucking blue...

looks like shit!!!!

but i have to wait for it to wash out before i can do it agian...


oh well...

took today off...

pretty embarressed about my hair..

wen to school though for a drama performence...
it wa suppose to be just y 9..
but yr 12's came in aswell..
so i felt quite intimidated..!!

but i got told i did really well in alll of them..

i really like drama!!

but i hate my hair..
mood: bitter
music: lindsay
(1) comments

hungry much?

Jun 1st, 2006 7:49:38 am - Subscribe

dying my hair...

and black...

and rayner has gone to buy hans fror dinner..

and he has been gone for ages...

i want my hair done!!

and then im doing his..

its 8.50

and we have school toomorrow...

late night for us..
mood: regretful
music: washing machine
(0) comments

test me?

May 31st, 2006 5:59:20 pm - Subscribe

kinda scared...

early moring test this moring for economics...

and for like 45 minutes of the hour i will be sitting there bored as fuck and reall scared...

ohh well..


economics is hard...
to much shit to remember...


dont really care anymore...
mood: astounded
(1) comments


May 31st, 2006 7:22:18 am - Subscribe

sometimes i wish he could go away...

he's working more..
so its good...

but when he is gone..
i miss him so fucking much!!

not right now..

but i think if i know i have to fall asleep before i see him again..
then it gets painful!!

sometimes it feels like he doesnt apprciate me..
i waged a whole day of school..
because he had a speech to do..
and he wasnt ready..
and it was like...he expected me to!!
like if he failed this...it was my fault!!

i know he loves me...
but sometimes..im not sure if its the idea of me!
ill ask him..

exams after next week..
sucks poo...

most my classes=down the drain!
but i must soldier on...

i will disapoint him...i dont want to do that!!

i miss my old ways...
spose i was niave...coz the more i think about it...
the more i hate it...the more i know i was hidding from the truth...
i misss having laura...my bestest girlfriend!!
she was fucking awesome...
i dont know..

iwant to be a fashion designer..
mood: insightful
(0) comments

the forgotten ball...

Jan 16th, 2006 8:33:09 am - Subscribe

i just watched The Perfect Man, a movie staring Hilary Duff.
Well its a movie about a girl and her family, that move around ALOT. they reach one place and alot of diffrent events happen there.
Holly (Hilary Duff) mets this guy, events happen between them. Kisses, fights and all that jazz.
But long movie short, she ends up making plans(which she never does) and goes to the ball with her new found lover.

I have waited longer then i can imagine to attend my ball, and now im moving schools, i cant go to mine till next year!
I have had my ball dress for about 6 months(longer then most people even think sbout the ball) and now im not going to be able wear the dress i have so longed to wear because of the stupid and inconvenient rules of Willetton Senior High School!
Most school in Australia have the year 11 and year 12 attending the graduation ball. but WillettonSHS only has year 12s go.
This year, im in year 11. Which needent be a problem since my boyfriend is in year 12, so i could be his date.
But they only accomidate for the year 12 students. Needless to say, not me!

So the most beautiful thing about high school, the glitz, the glamor that i have waiting as long as i could understand what a "ball" was, i have to wait another year, and i cant attend it with the one and only person i really wanted to go with, Rayner.

hopefully, ill get over it,
and move on,
to something more important!
mood: hopeless
(1) comments

hot chocolate..

Dec 27th, 2005 2:21:56 am - Subscribe

i like..
hot chocolate..
with rayner..
sitting in his room..

its fun..
its nice..
its sweet..
its love!
mood: close
music: nothing
(5) comments

my old life??

Dec 21st, 2005 7:48:16 am - Subscribe

i miss the old days..

dreading music class..
worrying about something...thinking it was the end of the world.....but next week...there is somethnig new..
i miss not knowing where everyone is..
i miss waking up and being excited to go to school..
i miss singing loud on the oval..
i miss having fights..
i miss being friends..

i miss school...

i really dont know why its changed...but it has...and i wish i could go back...knowing what i know now..

but life now...for everyone i know..is totally diffrent..
and im not sure if they enjoy it..i know i do...
but is this really better then living life..
week by week...
day by day...

period by period..

i not sure..
i really dont...

but life has changed...and i CANT do anything about it..

so i have to move on..
and live life..
the way it is now..
coz that is the only way..
mood: scared
(3) comments

new blog....ha

Dec 10th, 2005 4:42:34 am - Subscribe

i have moved into rayners..

well kinda..

i have moved in...until my mum does something about school..

so i have been here for almost a week..

and we found out...that i cant cross boarders..(go to a school outside my area)

so pretty much the only way i can go to willetton is move in with rayner...

which i would absoluty ADORE....

but his parents arnt to happy with that idea...

which i thought they would be..but obviously not..

oh well....

another day....

mood: annoyed!
(1) comments

YAY!! its my brithday

Dec 3rd, 2005 10:22:23 am - Subscribe

1. his mummies watch!!

2.a bunch of hellogoodbye stuff..*creams panties*

3. a lava lamp!! cute!
mood: romantic
music: silverstein
(4) comments


Dec 2nd, 2005 9:52:20 pm - Subscribe

its my birthday tomorrow...

and rayner kepps aplogising for his pressents..
saying the are crappy and thoughtless...

but i dont really care!!

well i would..

but they are from him!!

so i wont be disappointed..

will i...

i dont know!!
mood: wondering..
music: hellogoodbye
(3) comments

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