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deathcab4u
Goals - Subscribe
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Currently: Quitting Jimmy Johns and beginning at Dominos starting monday. Offer to be assistant manager at Halloween Express with Lauren. As far as money goes making more would be nice but in the long run I think time to devote to personal development, school and volunteering will be more important than paying off all my bills a little faster. Plan A: Within a week of today have requested professional letters of recommendation from 5 people and ask that they have them to me within 2 weeks of request. Within 1 week of receiving the letters have applied to three Wilderness Therapy Schools on the list provided by a friend. Also contact family in Oregon and Utah to explain plans and request hospitality if I am selected and accept a job offer. Also, within a week find information for CPR and First Aid Certifications and get that done within 3 weeks if possible. If invited to go to a training session and hired I will move be moving out of state and must complete obvious preparations for making such a move. Plan B: If not selected for a field instructor position at this time request feedback about what to do to to be hirable for that type of work. Take Action on feedback. In addition volunteer with High School Youth Group and/or Boy Scouts. In January Take EMT courses. In the summer work at a youth summer camp to gain more experience in that area. Re-apply to Wilderness Therapy Schools in the end of the summer. Also currently I must talk to my father about money for current tuition and maybe some money to help with my vehicle registration. Must also cut back discretionary spending. |
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deathcab4u
Rainy Day Sep 4th, 2008 6:46:29 am - Subscribe
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Sometimes I feel like I am a character in a movie. Except... In movies even the guy I play ends up with some sort of resolution. I don't want to be at the end of my story in any sense, but it sure feels like I experience a lot of conflict for so little reward or consolation. On the bright side, Poison Oak Media is kicking off. An idea I had a year ago is finally coming to realization with the help of my best friend. Our combined skills is what the company needed to become something real. I am really excited and am planning on putting a lot of effort into this renewed initiative. I had to call in sick due to anxiety attack again so I figured I'd make good use of my day. I feel like we did well, I got a lot done and am a step closer to doing something I love to survive. |
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deathcab4u
Boop Beep Boop Sep 3rd, 2008 4:18:57 am - Subscribe
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Re-activated my emusic account and got 75 free downloads. I got to pick up some music ive wanted to for awhile now and some new stuff too. I doownloaded music from: Vampire Weekend The Gaslight Anthem Damien Jurado Dr Manhattan Blue Mountain Frightened Rabbit I am a really big fan of Alt Country, stuff like Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Son Volt, Wilco and stuff that has a little twang ya know what I mean? I really enjoy that bluegrassy touch to country. |
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deathcab4u
FAT TIRE Sep 1st, 2008 5:56:54 am - Subscribe
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Another lovely Sunday. I have one day off from work each week and I try to make it the BEST day of the week. Today I went to church and then met with my bro's for bible study. Then we went to the Guitar Center and one of my friends bought a Synth for their band. After that 3 of us went to a little pub in town and had a pint of Fat Tire and some sandwiches, it was fantastic! Always good to have a pint before 20s group bible study. And then another one after bible study? Yes please! SO yeah, after 20s group 8 of us went to a different bar for a pint f Hacker Pshorr and it was a great time. MORAL of the STORY: 2 Pints of Beer, 2 Bible Studies, Church and the best friends you could ask for make up an amazing sunday. I recommend it to anyone who loves the lord and cold beer as much as me! K, well I think I work tomorrow so I'm going to get some sleep and pray to god that I do his will and work wherever he places me. And I might plead like a child for it to be somewhere else sooon lulz. I know that His work needs to be done everywhere in the world, and that this might even be the place I make the connection to my next step of life, that or its just building characer /sigh. |
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deathcab4u
HOLY SMOKES Aug 21st, 2008 7:14:40 am - Subscribe
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WOW WOW WOW I remembered this blog today and GO FIGURE, it still exists. My GUTS SPLATTERED all over a page on the internet! Well I'll be damned, I can't resist the urge to post and to read about myself because i don't know who I am anymore =*( Funny the things we do when we are stressed and tired. Lost and confused. I'd write in a journal but its in the car and I def prefer typing. Also, the feeling that this may be read is comforting in a weird way. YEAH OK. Anyways, 2am and I am guess I should hit the sack and try to keep my cool. ALL I WANT TO DO IS LET OUT A LITTLE STEAM AND RELEASE SOME TENSION! k thx ttyl EDIT: Ok I read some entries from when I was with B. If I learned anything its that spending so much time with a person and obsessing over them is recipe for disaster. YIKES. lol. I will not let that happen again. Personal time > Needy Relationships. |
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So I've moved in with a friend from work, its going quite well. She keeps trying to set me up with men though, which is kinda weird. Got my own xbox finally, some sweet games on it. I'm an addict of GH3 ... My GT is Sensarity if anyone else is an xbox nerd like me, add it. anyway, I cant sleep, been too busy rearranging my room, got it done for the most part, having trouble finding a good tv to invest in. Bought one second hand, but found out you cant get to the input without a remote (which it didnt come with) so I can't even use it for gaming. Oh Well. Lifes good none the less, I think |
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Ever have those days you feel so undesirable and uninteresting and have convinced yourself you are the most boring person on earth? Welcome to my every day life. I think lately I've done well at convincing myself otherwise though. I have a girl thats interested in me, unfortunately we both suck at organizing schedules and being the man. My roommate said I was the coolest girl he has ever met with the best sense of humor (blush) and I got a review at work worthy of a twenty cent raise and praise from the boss. Life was going great, till my roommates started asking stuff from me I don't know I can give. I need to talk to my mom. The best part of my day though was this;  I thought it only appropriate to have a travel mug that best describes me in some way, since I work at a coffee shop. I'm way too excited about it. Kinda pathetic? Maybe not ...atleast before I took a picture of it ...and posted it ... -marlene |
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i'm so tired of myself, my sad, over emotional emo self. i hate being mad at someone, so furious about something so ridiculous, yet they don't see the problem, then when youre finally able to say how fucking pissed you are, you act like a bimbo just to keep the peace as if everything is ok. well everything isn't ok and i need to run away, run back home. i dont know if i want pity, or if i want to leave just so a year or two down the line, theyll have regrets. i dont even know if he'd miss me if i was gone. maybe thats what i want to find out. dont even listen to me, i just want to whine to someone who isnt myself for a change. |
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Lifes been pretty great, met up with my lady friend and we watched some tv together. She asked to take me out to dinner sometime so as much as I hate to admit it, it might be my first actual date. Hopefully it goes well. I'm so addicted to Daria. Lifes been boring, no work tomorrow, don't know what I'll do, but it should hopefully be fun. |
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I wanna start writing like I used to, idea after idea of amazing fictional work of a dream world I could only wish I was in. I wish i didnt lack the inspiration. Where is my happiness. I think I'm happier alone even if I'm more lonely. F*k relationships and commitment, I live for me. |
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i'd sure like to come asore sometime. Got an email from my mom. Brother OD'd again. Looks like the fool isn't gonna make a comeback this time. I wish this wasn't so fucked. She said she wanted me home and shes in the darkest part of her life ever. Why am I such an asshole for staying here? Why can't I leave my "perfect" happy life here to go stay with my famiy. I guess I'm scared. I'll be going for the funeral. What a day to get called in to work. Why couldn't I read this email first before I made the call. |
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things have been strange. theres this girl im really interested in but im too stupid or insecure or something to go after it with as much enthusiasm as i know i have buried somewhere deep inside. shes great. shes also got me addicted to this show. The L Word. its further convinced me how big a lesbian i am and have been for longer than i should admit. my roommate has been trying to get me to go back to being 'straight' for him but i cant keep lying to myself. i hate hurting him every time he asks me, but ever since ive come out to him things have been so awkward. so aside from the l word and working, ive been entertaining myself with many episodes of daria, family guy and robot chicken. Of course much devil may cry 4 and halo 3 on the side. i just bough The Darkness on ps3 and im quite excited to play it. thus concludes another boring entry to my more than bland blog. but this is for me so ill do what i want =) i have more l word to be watched. much love whoever made it this far, you're amazing~ |
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I really don't want to work today. Just wanna stay home, play videogames, chill on the computer. Don't you hate wasting money and getting ripped off? Its such a piss off. My new laptop is awesome, despite a few vista flaws, Ive figured most of it out. I got the last one in the store so unfortunately it was the one they kept in the display and everythings named STORE and shit. I'm kinda annoyed, it said at the store and on the pc "250GB" it has two harddrives that add up to 222GB and like ...20 GBs are takin up by vista saving things i can't delete without permission. I dunno, its weird. Sorry I'm so boring today. Lemme think of something a little more interesting. My work fired someone off the midnight shifts and they asked me to take over them 11-7this week. I only agreed to 1 for thursday and friday, so hopefully it wont be too horrible. Im just worried theyll ask me to keep doing it next week, then the week after. I think I made it clear only this week though. I hated midnights, I don't even get paid extra by the hour like I should. That girl I liked, I don't know whats up with her, we stopped talking and aren't hanging out. It was unfortunate, I liked her. =( |
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| new computer, im so happy =D |
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The girl who played dorothy was addicted to heroin i think. Or some drug. Sometimes I wish I understood myself better. |
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Should I feel pathetic for spending a good hour or two I was tired and wanting to sleep playing solitaire and only winning about 2 hands? Either way, sleep doesn't mean shit. Theres this girl I've met, she's wonderful. I wont name names and it is probably too early to tell anything anyway. Who knows, maybe she'll read my blog some day and this'll freak her out and she'll run. Anxiety makes me anxious. Anyway, I'm getting to know her well and things are going great. Work sucks. We had this "Always Fresh" check which each shift gets and it determines whether people who've worked there 3 months+ get a nice little extra chunk of cash on their next paycheck. As it turns out, my shift is the reason they failed it. Not that I care, I haven't worked there long enough to see any decent money. But I'm sure, with how dramatic my store is, there will be a lot of hate towards my "afternoon team" I dunno, work sucks and I'm glad I'm not in any way attached to it. I just love money. Theres this beautiful cat I want to adopt. He's white and deaf. I fell in love with the little guy and he doesn't have a home =( my roommate says he doesn't want another cat in the apartment because there isn't space. As well, my current bundle of love, Spectre, is too much of a handful for him. For those who don't know. I feed her. I clean her litter. I entertain her. I pay her vet bills when necessary. She doesn't even enter his room. Apparently she gets in the way though, totally invades his life. Whatever to be honest. Meh I'm getting an email from the owner sometime tomorrow saying whether or not he's still in need of a home. Might take him anyway ... Since when do cats take up space? .. |
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Its been a while. I got a new phone. Its got a camera and everything. And an 8GB iPod nano, which I'm more than thrilled about. Had it for a while, but got it after I last posted. Sorry for my neglect. Work has been taking me over lately. DMC4 is great by the way.  .<3.  .<3.  .<3.   .<3. I'll try and be more consistant. I might get a puppy |
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I finally got a new cellphone with a real plan. Though I have a three year contract, contracts always make me nervous but I'm sure it'll be cool. Got a new iPod. 8 GBs, I love it. If you can't tell, I had an excellent day out shopping on Friday. Got my phone, ipod and 3 awesome DVDs. Se7en, Pulp Fiction and A Clockwork Orange. Been waiting for a chance me and my two roommates are all off work, thats rare. But I wanna watch them with ..them~ Nothing much else to say. Works been crappy, and I've been going way too much. Today though, I do get to start my work week with the new girl and I like her a lot. She drives me to and from work which is nice, she lives like two feet down the street. Been playing a lot of FF12 with my time off. Its such a crappy game but i wanna beat it before FF13 comes out in, I think March. and Devil May Cry 4 ...is going to be comparable with sex I think. But ...I'm a dork. Anywho, gotta get ready for work. |
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Is it just me, or did January not even exist? I can't believe how fast this month went for me. Was probably because I never got much accomplished. I had so much trouble sleeping last night. I'm going on 4 hours at the moment and I have work tonight. My roommate left for work an hour ago and I love his bed, I'll probably try to nap in that after this entry. They hired someone new at my work for afternoons. I'm very glad she's going to be working with me. I need more people around me who have a sense of humor, patience, and respect. For some reason, I don't see that much at my work. My roommates also considering switching to my shift, which would be awesome. I wanna write a lot this entry, but I really don't have much to say. I hate being on the computer lately, I've been way depressed and unmotivated to get out and do anything. I've finally got plans to go somewhere tomorrow, since I have the same day off as my best friend, for once. Maybe I'll have something interesting to write then. Goodnight Aoenity. |
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I don't wanna work tonight either. Goin on 6 days straight. I feel bad, my roommates scheduled for 9 days straight, though he'll probably get out of it. Not much going on with me lately. Been playing a lot of Halo 3. I'm such an exciting person, no? eh when you only have mornings to enjoy yourself, you don't have a lot of time to be creative. |