the worst day of my life.
Date: Jul 16th, 2005 8:35:54 am - Subscribe
Mood: sad
Today was the worst day of my life... First someone told me that the girl I love killed herself, though she hadn't. I can't live without her so I had a gun ready, but my brother was online and she logged in and started tellling him about how she logged on and apparently she had killed herself, my brother knows me better than anyone and he had seen me crying earlier and asked me what was wrong but I wouldn't tell him, so I guess he figured out that that's what it was, and he knew what I would do.. so he ran in right as I was about to pull the trigger and told me that she was online. I was freaking out, because last night she had been talking suicide, and I told her if she did it I would die too, and she said "no you wouldn't" but then she figured out that I love her.... I honestly didn't know that's what it was... I've never known love before so I didn't really know what it was... but everthing she said love felt like.. I felt for her. Yesterday was the best day of my life, and then suddenly I have the worst day... how does that happen? I also found out that my uncle was in a car wreck, and he's in critical condition, which is really shitty because other than my brother he is my favorite family member. He understands things unlike most others in my family... and THEN to top it off I found out that nearly everything that Jenna (a friend) had ever told me was a lie. I've started cutting again... I didn't want to.. but I couldn't help it. I haven't done this in 8 months..... but I guess my life hasn't been this bad in a while.
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cut_here - July 17th, 2005 |
