15 March 2005
Date: Mar 16th, 2005 1:44:39 am - Subscribe
Mood: neurotic
I hate paydays. No, I'm not talking about the candy bars, those are sinfully delicious.
I hate that on a day that I spend 2 weeks anticipating, that when I arrives, I immediately become depressed and short-tempered.
I hate that the second I check my online banking, I have to immediately watch the balance of my checking account dwindle to a pathetically small number. I hate that the pathetically small number I stare at on my 10-Key is what I have to survive on until ANOTHER two weeks from today. Those two weeks are SO FAR AWAY! The end of the month is too long from now.
I also hate the inevitability of the fact that I have to write a gigantic check to the IRS this April and I cannot manage to scrape up the money because my paychecks are never big enough.
Granted, I can be thankful that I have medical and dental benefits, that I am contributing to a 401K, that NOW Federal and State Income taxes are being taken from my paychecks, but DAMN! I need to make more money.
It also sucks that my ex-boyfriend owes me 500 dollars. Too bad he's broke and can't give me any of it. I'm done being generous. I cannot afford to be generous anymore. I need to be someone's cause. Not only do I owe the IRS (have I mentioned that yet?) money, but I've lost so much weight none of my clothes fit me anymore. I still live at home with my parents, it's been almost a year already, and I'm still not out of debt. That was the whole reason I moved home in the first place. Fuck me it sucks.
No wonder I'm single. The second I meet a cool guy and he asks me where I live, the truth becomes physically painful.
"I....ugh, live just North of the city...."
"Oh yeah?" Cute boy replies. "You got any roommates?"
"UgH, yes.... My parents."
"Oh. How does that work?"
"Very carefully."
Ok, the truth is that I really do like my parents. We get along really well. I don't cook and they cook for me. I don't grocery shop, they do it for me. I'm not home very much, they are home all the time. If I lived alone, my dog would be lonely; my dad works at home, puppy has company all day long. They stay out of my personal life for the most part, especially since I can't get a boyfriend worth two shits, so it doesn't really matter anyway. I don't have to pay rent, electricity, water... All I have to do is clean my bathroom once a week and vacuum for my mom sometimes. Tough life.
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