xx Always Number 2
Date: Dec 24th, 2004 9:37:17 am - Subscribe
Mood: neglected
Made Me Smile:: -
It kills me how I get dressed up when I go to bed, just in case you come over, so you can think I'm even pretty in the morning.
It kills me how my heart pounds when you kiss me, and I get butterflies in my stomach.
It kills me how I'm so brutally honest with you, and all it takes is our eyes meeting for a split second, just enough for me to see the longing you have for the girl I used to be. The anti-drama, tons of fun, 'pretty' girl.
It kills me how we built and developed our relationship so strongly for it to just come to a screeching halt over a simple friendship.
It kills me even more that the simple friendship, aforementioned, has somewhat started building and developing in the same way as ours did, but at such a rushed rate.
It kills me how I think of you 24/7, and have never felt anything in even the slightest form of negative emotion towards you, other than frustration.
It kills me how you want me to wait, but that you can't tell me for how long, and you can't even be honest with me about why, even though I've never been anything short of honest with you on any topic we've discussed.
It just hurts. You say you want to extend the break because you think Derek likes me, and you don't want me to miss out, but I know the truth. You want to extend it because you want to find out if you like her or not.
Fine, find something out, but don't do it at my expense. Don't lie to me, don't hide the truth.
I know, no one ever gets in. Every question asked is answered with a simple "I don't know" or some other rather vague phrase which actually isn't simple at all..I just, all I want is to get in there, one time, just this once. I want to know the truth about it all, your feelings, me and her, what's going to happen to 'us'?
I love you too much to let go, but I love you so much, I don't want to hang on. I want you to be happy, you know that, even if it hurts me, even if I have to let you go, but at least you could be honest. Straightforward..meet me halfway here.
Comments: (0)