nothing important
Date: Feb 22nd, 2005 12:45:54 am - Subscribe
Mood: lame
So I guess I'm kinda sad. Not for my own reasons, but I'm reading critisizms on a street car named desire and the whole story makes me sad. Sometime I can highly relate to blanche, not the lying part, but juts some off the feelings she has, I don't even know why, since I have money and I'm young, but whatever.
I went threw aim logs looking for something and happened to read things between brian and i like as of recent. In one conversation he tires to tell me in times like this he really wishes he and i had that whole trust thing and wanted to tell me something, and i didn't care about it then. I didn't care what he wanted to trust me with and all that shit. I feel kind of bad, since i am/was mean to him without any real reason except for something that makes little differnce and for another reason >_> but like he really needed me that day, and wanted to trust me with something....
noisuf0@mac.com: hi sam
thetoxicdesire: hi brian
noisuf0@mac.com: -shrug- its a time like this that i wish we had that whole "trust" thing goin on
thetoxicdesire: sorry my trust for people just keeps going down hill
noisuf0@mac.com: i know.. =[ i just liked being able to talk to you
thetoxicdesire: your too hard to trust to be honest
noisuf0@mac.com: -shrug-
noisuf0@mac.com: cus i let out all of your secrets..
noisuf0@mac.com: and eveyrthing you told me
thetoxicdesire: no saying you ever have
noisuf0@mac.com: -shrug-
noisuf0@mac.com: i liked being able to tell you everything =[
There was more but this is the part i care about...
Why did he want to talk to me and what about, heh I'll never know...
but why do i care?
mainly cause i feel lsightly bad for some of the harshness i had towards him, he picked bad times to IM about stuff, which wasn't his fault, but it definilty influenced our conversation, since well I can be a major bitch when mad or TIRED....
Well what ever nothing about it really matters too much to me any more. things with brian and i never really work out so why bpther to think any differntly this time....
heh.
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bad person?
Date: Feb 21st, 2005 5:54:24 am - Subscribe
Mood: careless
Is it wrong, that i thought i cared, i mean i even got all mean and stuff, but like now.... i just feel nothing. i dont care if anything.....
am i a bad person, for ending friendships becuase i relize i dont care...
is not caring mean?
Why don't i care, i mean a week ago i thought i may like one of them, and then i considered the other a best friend, but like now...
i feel like nothing.
maybe i am mean, and a bad person.
but at least i was honest.
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heh why not?
Date: Feb 21st, 2005 4:43:01 am - Subscribe
Mood: hostile
Well I don't know why I made this, but I was bored.
I'm not emo, just kinda ticked off. I hate a lot of my freinds well the ones residing in boca at least. mainly two adam and brian.
Adam just because he annoys me latly...
but brian, well him and I got close, and then it seemed he did to me exactly what he did to allysa, so I am not nieve like her, so I droped him like he was hot.
now both him and adam are like talking to me about....
I mean what can they say to make me believe that I'm not some male version of allysa, who they talk so nicly of, and treat just that right way until well they want something...
Guess thats enough for one "blog"
this is better than lj, no one can read it =D
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