Hello, Day 70
Date: Mar 6th, 2009 11:37:09 am - Subscribe
I suppose I'm well overdue for an update.
Another girl has entered my life. Girl I work with. She's beyond gorgeous, makes easily twice as much as I do, and is 23. But she doesn't exactly hold the same beliefs as I do and doesn't practice abstinence. So if we did end up together I'd give myself less than a week before the whole abstinence thing got thrown out the window haha.
So that's not an option... mostly because I know I've been called not to date right now. But still, it's been a struggle fighting it off. I almost asked her out the other night. That would have been dumb as shit. And I know it makes me a total douche, but I'd pretty much be the biggest pimp ever if I dated two different servers at my work =P
I haven't struggled s at all lately, which has been really nice. My main struggle hasn't really even been not asking her out. It's been not dwelling on the thoughts of doing so, or being with her. I find myself often speculating about how I would go about asking her out, where I would take her, etc. But this isn't good at all to think about, since I'm doing my best NOT to let that happen.
Had an odd dream about Dana last night. We were on my couch and she kissed me and told me that it wasn't working out with mike. I ended up making out with her. I pray for the best for her, I honestly do. Every part of me hopes she'll find Christ. I almost feel arrogant saying this, but for some reason, something in the back of my head tells me someday she'll call me up and want me back. For her sake, I hope she never ends up like that, but if she does, at least I'll be prepared.
I'm finally to the point where Dana isn't on my mind constantly. Daily, yes, but not on an hourly or minutely basis. I suppose time does help heal. I realized today that I only have like three weeks left until I hit day 92, which is the longest time I've ever gone without any sexuality. Crazy. Here I come.
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