Yellowboy! Love Will Forever!
And it's all thanks to Aeonity. Thanks, guys. c:
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Unian / Main / Ticket / Buddies / Older / RSS
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There are things that bring tears to my eyes. These days, I cry out of joy more than out of sorrow, far more out of joy, and that is how I realize how successful I am at this very moment.

I have come to realize what a beautiful person I am, how much I love myself, and how much I do for the sake of enjoying what I'm doing. There are many people who wish to accomplish something for the sake of acceptance or some primary goal. I only know one other individual, a year older than me, sharing the same birthday as I do, who dares to learn for the sake of learning. We want to apply the knowledge, of course, but we both want to learn for the sake of accomplishment. How colorful my world must be to take joy in discovering its principles! How beautiful my eyes must be after giving it so many gifts, word after word, phrase after phrase, beholding a new concept after another. How delicate must the grace of my mind be for its openness, its tendency to think independently, its enjoyment of philosophy, its love for the challenge for its own sake. How beautiful my body is for its health to not be based on how much better it can be than another, how beautiful I must be to detract from competing with people and instead exercizing for my own love of it! How excellent must the grooves of my tongue be for the love of learning languages, the speaking of an endless range of words, for the desire to create its own! Oh how I love! How do I center it! How do I make nothing else my priority! How have I realized the greatest truth of all, that nothing, not money, not power, not even fame, means anything to me! How I have realized that all means nothing, for I shall die with none of it taken with me, but the only thing I can die taken with me is happiness!

I think people are good. They're right before my eyes, constantly, laughing, and I love to tell people that they are good. Sometimes I kid of how much it seems like a childish naïvity. If I can make you feel better about yourself through such a trait, does it matter what it's like?

Today, I'm going to make myself as happy as possible. I believe that every effort should be made.

If anybody has heard of the old Black Triangle anecdote, the very same one that every good programmer inspires him or herself with, I am afraid that the triangle I attempted to overcome has challenged me to make yet another such triangle, ever so much that I fear that the constraints of life must allow me to turn it down in favour of progressing to the action I feel not ready for.

Currently, I am skilled in the field of mathematics in a place ahead of my students, but unfortunately, what I have overcome has not put me above, only ahead, and in this sense I feel that I have not climbed anything, but caught wind and caught up to a dream that was before fully impossible, only to find the dream mostly improbable. To be brief, I talk of arriving at Calculus' front door.

I don't know how many students don't make it this far, I'm the only senior who is in Pre-Cal (the "Pre-AP" version), and requests to advance to Calculus have probably left me rather shunned and ignored. "They usually say no," my counsellor says. I wonder how many students dare climb the ladder like me. From Basic Math to Trigonometry, a complete recap of every mathematical concept ever conceived, a trek that only the insane survive.

But recently, I have been picked up as a programmer by an amateur team, and I feel that I owe it to that team to make the promises I made, obviously. So should I leave them that Game Maker engine and let them hire a graphics-man while they piece the game together whilst I adventure into the mathematics required to be a great programmer, or do I gain the experience of working within a company environment, since I will most likely be employed after graduation? (Of course, we are making an Xbox game, but I have left him a GM alternative in case things go sour).

Completing Trigonometry was a feat in itself and I feel that Pre-Cal will be able to teach me things when we get to Chapter 10 or so, and even then, it isn't covering anything Pre-Cal-like, more of the uncovered concepts that other books failed to grab. Limits should be of some fun, maybe.

As for now, I'll take a break to keep my options open by getting into C. I should at the least grasp the basic concepts of this language at some point, anyway.