Feel the love
Date: Feb 29th, 2008 12:19:04 pm - Subscribe
Mood: festive
I suppose i should give you an outline of my life. I'm a girl, who currently seriously depressed. I wouldn't use the word "emo" though. So juvenile. I wouldn't like to consider myself juvenile. I am pretty much your average girl, just a little shorter, a little tinier and a little stupider.
I hate myself. I hate myself for not scoring well. I hate myself for my life turning out to be so bad. Nobody can lift my spirits. Except maybe my "brother". His wit might.
I feel repressed everyday, nobody is up to my intellect to an exchange of fluid conversation, everyday they are speaking in broken english, which really vexs me. I want an equal.
Someone who can talk to me like i would talk to them, someone who i could divulge all my secrets to. Someone who would be my best friend for life. I have a best friend now, but she... i can't trust anyone with my secrets.
I feel as if i can't trust anyone with my life. Only perhaps my imaginary characters, where i could drip it parts of my life into their own life. Feelings, emotions that i wish to have, but can't.
I have a big imagination. I dream. I dream of many things. But sometimes, having a big imagination can kill you. It kills you slowly. You start getting distratced, you hope too much. You dream too much.
You then get sucked back into reality. And you realise everything around you is changing. Rapidly. People are maturing, you aren't. You did so a long time ago.
You now live the shallow life. Nothing matters anymore, except the basic of basic. Good results. What else matters? Personal pleasure gives you no gain. Emotions is just another word.
And to think, all because of one Maths paper.
Comments: (1)
anonymous - February 29th, 2008 |