secrecy in incomprehension
Date: Sep 4th, 2005 11:59:15 am - Subscribe
Mood: illiterate
currently listening to:: The Faint / Desperate Guys





the current state of our state (or world?) is the only thing that keeps me from suicide. i know there are, bigger things in this big picture, which gives hope to its smaller diminions which do its biding in due time. i hope that, someday i can stop asking questions because i won't be unsure anymore.

questions, questions, hope hope hope.
why bother?
another question.
i submit to use other vocabulary to alphabetise my emotions so i may not deem myself another hopeless adolescence in the wind... doomed to wait upon a never-ending list of questions, empty promises, letdowns, and forfeited relationships.

i realise, we will never have what we want, because we don't know what we want. comspire against all you want, but the confusion of the pile of words crapped upon this entry will be read by none other than myself, and therefore, i will permit my fingers to do my biding; to type indescribibly confusing sentences mashed together for the sole reason of my releasing the incomprehensable string of words that go through my head at, par, 600 thousand per minute.

or so i calculate.


deep breath.
my english literature assignment awaits.

but in no way does it excite.




~_____ . _____~




Comments: (1)

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Comments:

anonymous - September 04th, 2005
You're getting there. The hardest bridge to cross is the realization that you cannot have what you want because you want it, and the problem lies there. When it becomes real to you that you actually cannot have anything but what is there, suddenly those things you wanted, well they swarm around you, and you can do as you wish with that, but if you start wanting or needing them again, they go away and become distant and impossible again.

"Wanting things is your clever way of preventing yourself from having them, wanting love is your clever way of protecting yourself from the love that is all around you"
Sorry anonymous, this user does not allow double comments to be posted.