Very cloudy today... I hope it rains. We need rain so, so bad. It looks like a desert out here.
Well, I started a pregnancy journal. I have never had one before (not even with my other two pregnancies.) So it is something new for me. Here is the site if you're interested:
I have been extremely sick with morning sickness... it lasts all day long and I spend a lot of time at the toilet. I don't remember my other two pregnancies being this bad in the first trimester.
Well, I have some really awesome news....
my husband has been HIRED for the youth director's position in Maryland!!!! So, it looks like we'll be moving to Maryland soon...
I'm pretty excited about it... but yet it also makes me extremely nervous... It gives me all kinds of butterflies just thinking about it.
This is a huge step for us... moving away from family and friends and starting a new beginning in a far off state... I'll keep you updated on the date of officially moving...
This is all for now...
I hope everyone has had a good summer!!!! Is everyone ready to go back to school???
No school for me. I'll be too busy packing... moving... and preparing for the baby's arrival.
Weather: CLOUDY. 97 DEGREES.
Got some great news....
Hubby and I are having a baby!!!!
Just found out today!!!!
Baby will be due in April...
My oldest son is so excited!!!!
My youngest son could care less... haha.
I think I'm about a month along....
I already have names picked out!!!!
First name: Kayrah/Kyrah
First name: Isaiah
Middle name: Matthew
First name: Savannah
Middle name: Hope/Grace
Yeah, I'm maybe considering Savannah. But most likely it will be Kayrah or Kyrah.
It is 107 degrees today in southeast Kansas. So, so HOT. The entire week has been hot and up in the 3 digit numbers, but today is the highest. And with the humidity as high as it is... it feels like an oven.
I am not a big fan of summer weather to be honest. It has never been something I've been much fond of. I'm more of an autumn/winter kind of girl...
Kansas is definitely not where I should be living... I know it gets pretty heated up in Arizona and Cali as well.. I wonder what there temperatures have been like?
Well, a quick update on Maryland...
Hubby and I are leaving on July 27th and staying in a hotel in Kansas City to meet our flight at 6:20 am, July 28th.
July 28th we will fly to Detroit, MI. Then we will make our way to Washington DC... Then we will drive the rest of the way to Ijamsville, Maryland.
I'm really nervous... but REALLY excited!!!!
KEEP COOL EVERYONE!!!!
I haven't been this excited in a long time...
My husband had his third and final phone interview on last Thursday. The job is a youth director's position in Maryland.
During the interview, the pastor and him bonded more than they intended to. The interview didn't even feel like an interview my husband said. Him and the pastor just connected so well that it seemed they have been friends for years. But they have never even met before until this interview.
The pastor had made up his mind (even before the interview had started) to fly my husband up to Maryland to meet the church. He said he is very impressed with the website my husband designed with his portfolio and resume' on it. He said that is what made up his mind from the beginning... was the website.
We are flying up to Maryland for the final interview next week!
Even if he is not hired for the job and we're not meant to move to Maryland.... just getting this far is a huge accomplishment and inspires us to keep going and looking ahead.
Okay, so I have been really bad at updating this blog... I guess most of the reason is because lately I fear of someone/anyone I know personally getting a hold and reading my entries. I just didn't realize how easy it is for people to find your personal information on a blog... but I've had a few comments from several people who have informed me of knowing things that can only be found in my blog.
Keeping a blog just doesn't appeal to me as much anymore because I feel it is not private enough. But I am still pondering on it, so it is not my final decision as of yet. I have been keeping a blog for over 7 years... I'd just hate to stop..
A lot has happened since the last update...
Our house caught on fire about a month ago (as I mentioned in the last entry).
My husband, my sons, and I are currently living in my mom-in-law's house. We cleaned the entire upstairs of the house so we could have more privacy... (which is really nice.) Mom-in-law lives downstairs and we have the whole upstairs to ourselves.
The upstairs is huge! It has 4 bedrooms and a bathroom. We cleared out all the junk and made a bedroom for the hubby and I... and a bedroom for our boys... and another room we made into our livingroom/office area... and connected cable tv and internet as well!
So we're pretty content and happy for the time being...
It's "free rent" and plus mom-in-law likes to cook us dinner and do our laundry a lot as well... So... we're kind of enjoying being spoiled... haha.
My husband has his third interview with MVC tomorrow at 7:00 pm Eastern time.... I think this will be the final "phone" interview. We're quite excited/nervous about it... We've been waiting for this interview to come... and now it's about here...
As for our house that burnt down...
Nothing good from the insurance company has come of it. They are not treating us fairly (as most insurance companies usually don't.) But still we're hoping and waiting for their answer.
I guess that's about it... I will probably make a "miraculous" update tomorrow to tell how the interview went...
I hope everyone is enjoying their summer!
My house caught on fire Saturday night (June 17th) on the day of my youngest son's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's.
There had been a lightening storm and apparently we had bad wiring in the attic... and that is what started the fire.
We were not there at home because of the flea infestation we'd been fighting with for the last 3 weeks...
We were at my in-law's house when we got a phone call from the police saying our house is on fire.
Most of the upper part of the house (the ceiling, attic, and roof is destroyed.) But the firemen managed to put on the fire before it spreaded through out the entire house.
Only the house stinks really bad...
But you know what the crazy thing is???? THE FLEAS ARE STILL THERE!!!! Yes... the fleas actually survived the fire!!!!
How crazy is that???!!!! Apparently they can live through just about anything...
So most of our stuff is destroyed... I want to puke at the thought... But they are just material things... I need not to worry or make a big deal of it.
We're living with mom-in-law now... I think we may be here a while.... We're homeless... have no where to go...
No, that isn't really true... we know plently of people who would gladly take us in.... but it's always better to have your own home... less stress that way.
Today was so, so HOT. I think I could melt.
Weather: 96 degrees. Sunny. Felt hotter.
We poisoned the house top to bottem...
There shouldn't be a live flea or egg in sight. Tomorrow we go back home to clean the place up.
Hubby and I have been working really hard on his portfolio website... We just got it put on the net a couple days ago! Today we're working more on it...
It is looking good I think...
It should be an impressive way to get the church's attention to hire hubby for their youth pastor position.
I am so ready for a new, adventurious direction in life...
Waiting has been difficult...
It seems as though I've been waiting for weeks and months.
Got to be patient...
Weather: HOT & HUMID. 95 degrees. Isolated Thunderstorms.
PS... TOMORROW IS MY YOUNGEST SON'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!
So we were forced out of our house because of the flea infestation...
Every time we walk in, our legs are covered in millions of tiny, leg-bitten fleas.
Does anyone else have this problem???
I remember we had this very same problem a few years ago...
It took a lot of money and time to get rid of them...
I have a feeling this time will be the very same way.
We tried bug-bombing the house, but that didn't work at all. So, I guess we'll have to go to the farm store and buy the strong, expensive stuff.
I had to kick my housecat out of the house since she's the one who invited them in...
So, we're staying at my mom-in-law's house until the flea problem is solved.
Weather: 89 degrees. Mostly clear.
You may think that this is a bad thing...
But it really ISN'T... haha.
We resigned as their youth pastors a little over a month ago... and they wouldn't accept our resignation.
But Wednesday the church board had a meeting since the junior high youth pastors quit. (My husband and I are/was the senior high youth pastors.)
Anyway... so I guess during this meeting on Wednesday, they all agreed to get rid of us.
Now the youth cannot be mad at us for wanting to leave... Because the board finally has decided to let us go.
This is a very good thing!
We were actually hoping and praying they would do this....
that way we can get on with life and the youth cannot blame us for just quitting...
Because you know what???
We didn't neccesarily quit... haha...
We got fired.
The youth do not know the news as of yet...
We just found out ourselves last night. Most of them will still be upset, but the truth is, even if we are not associated with that church anymore; we could still continue working with the youth under our home church.
It's a good thing to know that our home church supports us no matter what (even if the old folgy church may have problems with us.)
Time to finish up what we have left to do here in this town before we leave... (to where ever that may be.) It could very likely be Maryland. We'll just have to wait and see where God brings us.
I feel FREE...!!!!!!
Free from the church...
Free from the religious traditions of that church. I no longer have to feel that the youth and us are under the church board's control and power!!!
God freed us from their religious ignorance. Now, it's time to do what God has called us to do... under His authority... and not the churches.
Bring it on Baby....
I haven't felt this happy in a long time...
Weather: 89 degrees. Sunny.
Tonight's the interview...
7:30 Eastern time...
Which makes it 8:30 in Central time.
I must admit, I'm a little nervous for him...
I hope it all goes well.
Hey, tomorrow's the first day of June...
Weather: Sunny. 80 degrees.
I recently discovered that the junior high youth pastor and his wife just quit.
Without any notice, they just quit. Now the church has no one to lead the junior high youth!
I think the church is finally just now awakening to the realization of what they have done and how they have mistreated their youth leaders.
It's too bad that they have realized it a little too late. Their youth program is going down the pooper because of the board's bad decisions and bad behavior; and the youth is having to suffer because of it. What a pity this is.
Satan really knew what he was doing when he got involved in all this! His plan has certainly succeeded.
3 months ago the church had a healthy, victorious youth program. Now look at it... Now it is only hanging by a thread.
My new baby niece (Payton) just got out of the hospital and went home with her family. Me, hubby, and boys have been house-sitting while mom-in-law is away helping take care of new baby niece.
So we've taken a small "vacation" away from youth and the church's "drama." Without us speaking a word about it, the church knows we're leaving the youth program anytime soon.
Most of the leaders who were helping hubby and I with the youth program have left because of all the drama... most of the youth participants have left as well. We orginally had 32 youth coming... Now we are down to 8 faithful youth.
My heart and mind have become stone-cold against the church. But I will need to forgive and forget and accept this to be an important lesson for our passion in working in youth ministry.
On a happy note: Hubby has a phone interview this Wednesday (May 31st) for a youth position at 7:30 Eastern time in Ijamsville, Maryland.
Here is a link to the site if you are interested in taking a look. Hubby and I do not like many churches because they are ran more by man than by God. But this church in Ijamsville has really impressed us and sparked our interest! They have many of the same beliefs and goals as us and they have a huge passion for their youth.
But if God does not allow us to be apart of this particular youth ministry, we will continue looking for where we are called to go.
Weather: High: 89 degrees. Partly Cloudy/Wind.
I wrote this yesterday... But I wasn't able to send it in because my internet was down. So I'm sending it now.
I've been thinking about you Kristin...
just so you know... I'm not meaning to neglect you... Thank you for the letter... I will write you back when I get the chance...
I've been busy... Preparing support letters for the Mexico Missions trip for this summer... (Kristin, I am sending you a support letter as well!) Not to pursuade you into supporting the trip financially... No, mostly because we need a lot of prayer support!
With all the bad stuff that has hit us up lately... Prayer is greatly needed! We even at one point almost decided to cancel the Mexico trip because of all the stuff that has got in the way... But we thought about it a little longer and decided that canceling the trip would not be a wise decision.
Anyway, but I do get more excited about the trip the more we are preparing for it!
But see, everything BAD that has happened as of late...
1. The church we worked with coming against us.
2. Rumors and gossip
3. Us resigning & dis-associating from that church.
4. Car wreck last week.
5. People hating & coming against each other.
6. The youth group splitting up & dying.
7. My sis-in-law and her new baby girl are both sick in the hospital.
8. My pet chickens were eaten and died.
I have decided that all these reasons are GREAT reasons why we should go on the trip rather; instead of reasons to cancel.
The weather has been beautiful the last two days! We were also given a rental car because of the accident. It's a Ford Contour.
Also, we discovered that the man who hit us was driving drunk and had illegal drugs with him. He was arrested. He was not hurt during the accident.
We are now going through the process of waiting for a settlement.
My oldest son's eye is healing quicking from the car wreck. It doesn't look as ugly as before.
Our car looks really bad. It is only by God that my son made it unharmed! The whole passenger side of the car is smashed. Thank you God for keeping us safe!
High: 84 degrees. Sunny.
I saw my mother today...
Today felt more like a "Mother's Day" than any normal day truthfully.
It was good to see her...
I don't see her often...
We really don't have much of a relationship (which is sad), but we both know we love each other at least.
I will not get to see my mom on Mother's Day because she has no choice but to work that day. But that is okay because I spent a little time with her today and even gave her a small Mother's Day gift. (With what little money I had.. haha.)
I got her this chipped, wooden yard ornament in the shape of a cat; (she likes cats too!) Anyway, but she really loved it... and I'm glad... It's really a challenge to find gifts for my mom every year. But it made me smile when I saw her eye brighten up when she picked up the wooden cat from her gift bag.
Well, I can't believe I have waited until now to update... because what I am about to say is pretty scary.
On Tuesday (May 9th, 2006) at about 9 pm, WE GOT IN A CAR ACCIDENT. Yes, all four of us (me, my husband, and two sons) were coming home from a restuarant and we were at a 4-way intersection. We were turning left and we didn't realize that the car who was coming straight was driving way too fast.
It was a 35 mph street and the guy had to have been going at least 60 mph or more... Before we knew it, his car slammed into our car in the passenger side where my oldest son was sitting.
And our car went spinning and didn't leave the spot where we'd been hit. But the man who hit us didn't even try slamming on his breaks when he saw us... so he hit us hard!
It all just happened so fast, I don't even remember the car spinning. But the man who hit us was fine. He as quickly as he could got out of his car and asked us if we were okay. But the weird part is, he left his car and left the scene and was gone for at least 30 minutes or so.
By the time the police, ambulance, and firemen came, the man who hit us was gone. But then after that 30 minutes he came back and started talking to the police.
We think maybe we had some illegal drugs in his vehicle and maybe he left the scene to hide it. Not sure, but it looked pretty suspicious to us. Even the witnesses of the accident thought so.
Anyway, but we're all fine. My oldest son got cut up pretty bad by glass on his left eye. It's all swollen and black and ugly... I totally freaked out when I saw his little face just bleeding every where after the accident! He was scared of going to the hospital, but he did anyway and decided the hospital isn't at all that scary.
My youngest son also got a little banged up from the accident on his face as well. But it doesn't look as ugly as my oldest son's shiner.
We're all a little sore and bruised every where on our bodies, but Thank God it wasn't any worse than this! We were all wearing seat belts.
Anyway, I'm feeling really tired at the moment. I'm going to bed now.
Okay, so the days are becoming a little brighter every day it seems.
I can't really explain why, I just feel that way. And it is for no apparent reason really... I feel that things are starting to blow over some... like some of the youth's parents have come to my husband and I and have apologized for believing all the (rumors, gossip) that was going around about us and for not confronting us in the beginning to see if they are true or not.
They said they now realize they're just rumors and none of them are true. It's good that they now see this I guess, but still, it doesn't change our minds about resigning from the youth position. But it does make me feel a little more at ease.
Lately, we have been filling out resume' after resume on the computer for different youth positions. It has taken a lot of time and a lot of work.
We have gotten several responses back from the resumes' which is awesome! We're really excited about this particular one in Ijamsville, Maryland because they sent us an email saying they are very much interested!
They said they have narrowed down to a short list of candidates, and would like to know a little more about us. So they sent us a Youth Director Questionare and asked that we filled it out promptly by Tuesday, May 9th so that they can continue the evaluation process.
I never guessed of all places that God might send us to Maryland. I still do not know if this is what God has in mind... it is just too early to tell.
But other than all this, things have pretty much stayed the same.
Weather: High 61 degrees. Rainy/showers.
The sun us finally peeking out this afternoon...
I was beginning to miss it.
It rained and rained all last night and this morning... and all day yesterday... and rain before that...
The yard is flooded.
I've been listening to a song on www.air1.com called Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns.
Over and over the song plays in my head...
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
END OF SONG.
I really think God is trying to speak to me... but I just have so much anger and bitterness inside me... It's hard to listen.
I am going through a "STORM." Not just the one in the sky... but the one here in my life as well. It sucks.
Weather: Partly Coudy. More T-Storms this evening. High: 73 degrees.
I'm going to have my hair roots colored tonight... It needs it... Bad. With the roots showing, it's quite obvious I am not a natural blonde... haha. But what's funny though is... that most people assume blonde is my natural hair color because it looks so real with my face...
That and because I sometimes behave as a blonde...
It has been pouring and pouring all day long... Our driveway is flooded... which isn't surprising... It's ALWAYS flooded when it rains like this.
Well, if you haven't noticed... my mood says it all. Without getting in it too deep, I would just like to say... You just can't trust anybody and everybody, no matter how much you care for them. Most of you know this already I'm sure.
A lot of bad stuff is happening right now in my life... stuff I rather not share because of the fear of being misjudged by those who know nothing about me.
My husband and I.... our hearts are broken. We have been betrayed by those in the church who we thought loved and cared for us.
Instead, they went behind our backs and stabbed us. It was just one of those things that were least expected.
To put it as simply as possible, a mother and her daughter went to the church and made up horrible rumors about my husband and I. They said we are child molesters and we should not be in the church.
It wasn't before long when the rumors went spreading through out the schools and town. But those who know us, know that it isn't true.
We're assuming the reasoning for them making up such lies is because the daughter's mother wants to take over the youth and make us leave the church.
I just can't believe this... How is it these people can call themselves "Christians?" To lie, cheat, and steal what God is doing in the youth.
My husband and I feel like vomiting over the whole mess going on... People are believing the rumors said about us. The parents are freaking out and not letting their kids come to youth meetings because of it.
We do not want any part in this church. They have turned their backs on us without even asking us if the rumors are true.
But those who truly know us, they are angry and so upset about the lies and are praying for us day and night.
It's amazing how dangerous a rumor can be.
I can't talk about this anymore. I just feel sick to my stomach when I think or talk about it.
I'm almost sure God is telling us to move on... Our name is no longer clean here. All because of a horrible rumor...
We are currently applying online through out the U.S. for jobs. Where God will lead us... who knows.
Weather: Heavy T-storms. High: 61 degrees.
We met these sisters, Barlow's their last name.
Ordinary girls they don't live in lane.
They don't rate with the guys that score
'cause they don't flaunt what the boys what more.
They don't date, they won't date.
They wanna see how they're gonna grow up;
Who they're gonna be in the meantime.
They might feel unloved when all the
girls around them are hooking up.
But I know for sure it's never popular to be pure.
And while some guys might be passing them by;
I think they've caught someone's eye.
All the boys in the band want a valentine from a Barlow Girl.
Boys think they're the bomb
'Cause they remind them of their mom.
Everyone needs to be loved;
Everyone needs their own teenage fan club.
Any attention can feel like a good thing;
Dress to impress can be oh so tempting.
You get noticed with your body;
Sexual hypnosis by being hottie;
you might feel like public property.
You might, you might you shouldn't be;
no girl should feel she has to trade her body.
For love or be an old maid;
and yes there are guys who are willing to wait.
Ask a Barlow girl on her wedding day.
Rainy, cloudy weather today...
The sun is no where to be found.
Not much has changed since last entry...
In ONE MONTH we plan to resign as youth pastors at this church.
In the meantime, with the help and support from the Foundry(our own church), we will buy a building and continue God's work there. In fact, we want to turn this building into a CLUB... as well as a youth center.
Which is a dream/vision my husband and I have had since 8 years ago.
I'm just really curious in what God has planned in all the mess going on...
So many changes are about to happen. I'm excited, yet a little nervous as well.
Weather: Cloudy & Rainy. 83 degrees.
Okay, so, the hubby and I have been doing a lot of praying and thinking about what we should do about our position in the church and where we stand...
We are leaving IN ONE MONTH... by our own choice, not the church's choice.
It's not a huge loss really; because this church that we lead youth in... ISN'T a church we are actual members of.
The church we attend and are members of does not have a youth group... but is a very caring, supportive church in which we enjoy and love.
So, it's kind of confusing... We lead youth in one church, but actually attend church at another.
Yes, I am very sad and disappointed about the out come of leaving... But God is leading us in a different direction in life right now...
I must admit, I am afraid of this change... I am scared of what may happen. But I am putting it all in God's hands.
My actual church I am an actual member of is helping my hushand and I buy a different building and turning it into a youth center to continue God's work there.
This is the plan for now...
In the meantime, we will continue to do what we're doing until one month is over.
Weather: Sunny. Beautiful. 86 degrees.