Okay, so a long long while ago, my dad baught some cuccumbers at the market. They were bad cuccumbers. I said something about it. I said dad needed to inspect the veggies before he buys them. My mom got pissed off at me and said I wasn't thankful for anything my dad does for me, and I'm all like, "What the fuck?! I'm very thankful for everything dad does for me!" And we had this big fight.
Anyway. Xenimus, and online game, worked fine on my mom's computer.
My dad messed with my mom's computer to try to make it work faster.
Suddenly Xen doesn't work right, the screen is completely black. I say I think it's Dad's fault because HE messed with the computer.
Makes sense, doesn't it?! Well, Daniel get's pissed off because I'm blaming Dad. He says I'm not thankful for anything Dad does for me. I said something about if anything's blamed on dad everyone has a heart attack, and Daniel comes running at me. I thought he was going to hit me. He stopped right above me and yelled at me. Daniel hits me all the time, not with his full strength, and it hurts. I was afraid that he was going to hit me with his full strength, and that scared me.
I am thankful, and I say thankyou every time dad does something for me. Why the fuck they think I'm not thankful is beyond me.
Maybe me blaming Dad for things that -are- his fault means I'm not thankful?
If I say anything's Dad's fault, everyone gets pissed off. Yeah, Dad has high blood pressure and his hard of hearing. Yeah, he's not the healthiest person, but that doesn't mean everything he does is perfect. My family needs to learn that just because dad has health problems doesn't mean nothing's to be blamed on him.
Okay. What do I blame Xen not working right on?
Oh! How about this! Let's blame my dog. Yeah. Or lets just blame me. I'm the only one that stuff is allowed to be blamed on anyway.
Haha! It's been 2 years! since I've posted.
My life is good now.
I see a therapist once a week, in fact I'm going to be seeing her during lunch tomorrow... er... today. oO; Thursday~ March 1st.
8] My brother left for college, and my other brother came back from college, cause he failed out. x] Now he's going to a community college instead.
Maybe... I'll post more later... 8D
After discovering something, I've decided I will no longer be posting public blogs.
For those of you who decided that it was okay to just copy and paste my thoughts, feelings, life experiences..Thanks a lot. Its nice to know that when I get upset with someone, you'll just copy and paste it into your stupid journal descriptions, websites, whatever...I'm not flattered, just angry. Get your own thoughts and feelings. Use your own words. Get a life.
I am so happy now... even though I'm grounded forever and I have oss and iss =P Lmao I'm making out very well. My hunneh loves me, and I've still got all of my dreams in line. <3 I love my life now. Even though I screw up a whoooole lot. xD Oh well... I don't mind.
Love bits to all who care <3
I took Piddles for a walk today. I passed by the Blies (Or however you spell that) and their dog went after Piddles. Now you gotta understand how big Piddles is. Piddles is a small dog. Around a foot long, 4, maybe 5 inches wide, about 7,8 inches tall on all fours. The Blies' dog is 4 times as big. I, of course, protected Piddles. I tried to keep the other dog away, and I made my way home. When I got home, I was about to start making some food, when Mrs. Blie drove up in the drive way. She threatened to shoot Bouthazar and Hezzie if they left our yard again. B and Hezzie run freely, I hate keeping dogs confined. I wouldn't mind if the other dogs came in our yard, as long as they stayed away from Piddles when they do.
I had to idea about anything my two outside dogs had done in the past, as I'm not told much about what goes on here. I also knew nothing about the dog that went after Piddles' past. How could I have? The Blies explained that the dog was hurt and beat. I did not know this. To me, it looked as healthy as Piddles, which is quite damned healthy. Now, because of me, we have to confine B and Hezzie, which, I might add, is going to be VERY hard to do, and if we don't, we'll lose the dumbest dog in the world, but still very special to our family (Hezzie) and a dog that has been in our family since we moved to Missouri. (B)
I cause everyone so much trouble... Sometimes I think everyone would be better off without me, you know?
Everyon hates me... well... that's what it seems like anyway....
I'll start from the beginning.
A few hours ago, I was chattin in a chatt room on yahell. Well, I ran into a pedophile. Two of them, to be exact. And I went to yahoo webpage to turn them in, BUT I CAN'T FIND THE FUCKIN' ABUSE BUTTON! That pissed me off sooooo bad!!!
And then to make matters worse, my brother comes to me and has me smell a new body soap... think it's tag... and he asked me what I thought of it and I was in the middle of answering him when he interupted me and called me a poser for favoring Axe. That I liked only brand names and not the smell. I favor Axe because of the smell. I wouldn't care if the brand name of Axe was Cow Dung! the smell reminds me of James, cause that's the kind James was wearing last I saw him... David practically called me a poser for missing James... that hurt... cause that's like saying I shouldn't miss him.... And then about half an hour later, I tell David that there's nothing wrong with favoring something that reminds you of someone you cannot see anymore. David got pissed and my dad butt in. He asked me was was wrong... and a few words into my explaination, He cut me off and yelled, "DROP IT!" That made me cry cause no one listens to me... ever.
I hate my family. My brother Daniel molested me when I was younger, which has scarred me for life, and my parents arn't proud of me at all, no matter what, which hurts really really bad. (Mom put me down for the idea for me to give her my first few pay checks) And David's just hurtful! I can't wait four more years. I can't live with this family that much longer. I was happy as fuck when I was 12. Now look at me. I'm gonna be dead by my 16th b-day. I've already almost OD'd twice... almost stabbed myself... almost slit my wrists. I'm suicidal, but not insane. I just want out. And not to a mental institute. That'll make me go even more insane cause then I'll know my family really doesn't want me.
Did you know I'm the only one of the three (Out of me and my two brothers) that wasn't an accident? Yet I'm treated as I'm not even a family member. Daniel's going to college, but I don't think things are going to get any better around here. I NEED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
End of entry... comments please. And if you have something mean to say, don't even say anything at all, cause I know you don't care about my problems. You're here on Aeonity blog cause you have problems of your own. No one really cares about my problems.
I been listneing to Jack Off Jill - Love Song ALL NIGHT! o_o Anywho...
I made a promise to my mom and I... about keeping my virginity until I'm married... and well... -sigh-. And no, I'm still a virgin. There's no cocks in this henhouse. o_o;; Anywho. I may not be as smart as my brother Daniel, but I'm smart enough to know that I'm going to end up making huge mistakes, and that losing my virginity before I'm married is going to be one of those huge mistakes. I also believe that my mom sences this.... It wouldn't surprise me. I mean... she -IS- my mom.
I think... when I get a job... my first few paychecks are going to go to my parents. I mean, seriously. Look how much money I steal from them every month. Every time I rack up their phone bill, I'm practically stealing money from them. And even though I do this SO much, they still love me and take care of me. They deserve it.
My brother says that I don't explain things very well... he also says I'm an idiot. Well, I explain things well enough that I can understand it perfectly. So, if Daniel's right, I'm explaining things at a dummy level. So he should understand it, him being an A+ student, and all. Also take note that it is hard to understand something too complex for you. That meaning : The dummy level is too complex for Daniel. o_o;;
I'm not exactly sure how I figured that o_O;;
I'm also not sure if I'm being smart or dumb =_= I think I'm being smart.... But Prolly not. o_o;; Me? Smart? Hah! xD
Anywho... Dr. Pepper ish GOOD! =D!
If I'm as smart as my IQ says... Why can't I do math? o_o;; I absolutely cannot do devision. I can do basic devision, oh yeah. 4/2=2 T-T 100/4=25 I can do that.... but I had to THINK on 100/4=25 ;;; Multiplication's easy for me... as long as I have a peice of paper o_o;; And a calculator. I know which buttons to push... I just don't know how to do it on the paper... u_u;; And I told my parents plenty times I need a tutor... but I havn't got one! There's no way I'm going to get through Algebra in 9th grade... I'm going to be learning Algrebra alllllll through highschool u_u;; I'm going to be a Senior... sittin' with Freshmen.... GAWD! ;;; I hate math. I hardly remember anything from Pre-al. I wonder if I can get George to help me... =D... D= I'm too shy to go up and talk to him... T-T
My dog is rubbing her arse along the floor ;; Damned fleas... and I just gave her a bath! T-T... My poor baby -hugs Piddles- (Piddles is the name of my dog, DON'T ASK ABOUT IT! xD)
Anywho... end of my entry... comments please?
Omg omg omg omg omg omg OMG!!!!!!!!!!
James IMed me. HE IMED ME!
When he IMed me I started shaking... and all I could say was Omg. and I was crying... but they weren't sad tears.. .they were VERY FUCKIN' HAPPPPPPYYYYY!!! He said he could never stop thinkin' about me... and that he never will. I'm so happy now that I get to talk to him again!!! I'm going to be crying a lot less now... well... a lot less over the fact that James broke up with me... and I'll be crying... I'll be crying happy tears, at the fact that me and James will be back together soon, hopefully, in a little less than a year. And, a year might sound long, but fuck, it's a short ass time! Espescially compared to the original amount of time I was supposed to wait--4 years!!!!
I'm soooooooo uberly happy!
And my new site has a new word dictionary! xD
www.mexyou.piczo.com GO GO GO xD
=__= It's teh hyperness talking...
I haven't posted in a long ass time.. Sorry my loyal fans..
As most of you know I've been having a hell of a time with my life..
.. I'd rather not talk about what has happened, so if you could all just drop it, that would be fucking awesome..
I want to thank these people for supporting Andy and myself:
-My family- Well, it's almost their fault this happened..
-And anyone else I have forgotten to thank.
I can't breathe.... seriously... it hurts to breath.
Anyone like my new word? Suck-a-ie? lol
I'm starting to feel as if I'm an e-slut... o.o; Seriously too.... T_T I'm starting to remember WHY I stopped RPing in the first place.... I think I'm going to stop RPing too... because every time I go to rp, I end up a peice of ass. -.-
I got a new site name, seeing as my old one screwed up!
www.mexyou.piczo.com ^___^ Don't click it, I'm fugly. xD
I found my baby pictures.... I was 8 lbs someat oz. >_> I look fat! xD
Well anywho.... o__o I have a stomach ache.... a head ache... and a back ache... but I don't want to take Ibuprofen... (its the only pain medication my dad buys anymore...) because I've had a fear of swallowable pills ever since I tried to kill myself with them <_< I fear if I start swallowing pills again, I'll try to kill myself with them again... (taking huge overdoses of them) -_-
I was RPing a few minutes ago... and someone starting kissing me in the RP, and someone else startted saying that people who kiss and cyber online.... only do so because they can't get anything in real life... that hurt really bad... cause it's almost true about me. The last time I kissed a guy in real life, I was at my ex bf's house... more than 3 months ago...
Iii'm going to stop here... >_>
I can hardly bare the fact that Andy's really gone.... I talked to Charlie earlier, and he acted like everything was fine. I think in real life, though, he's sad... way sadder than me... If I lost someone so close to me as Andy was to Charlie, I wouldn't even be able to act cool online....
Just imagining Andy... eyes closed... dead... omg... someone please help me and put a different subject in me head... ;-;.
I hope everything goes well for everyone...
This is Andy's cousin, I'll be posting his final words..Andy was like a brother to me, so I find this really difficult, but I want his friends to see. He passed away July 6th, due to internal bleeding...The doctors made us believe he was going to make it..Even Andy's smile had us convinced..
"I'm finding it difficult to believe this all happened..A car accident?...The last thing I remember was thinking of Charlie as I went to pick him up. Less than a mile left to reach his house...how could I not have made it? I was depressed, love-filled, so many emotions..and after that car hit mine...I felt nothing inside.
To wake up and find Charlie in a bed beside me, completely unconcious...that was the most painful moment of my life. I didn't have it in me to speak, all I could do was lie there crying. My family and friends tried to explain what happened to him....I was furious, how could someone be so stupid? How could they possible make Charlie think I was dead? And then I find out who it was...My own stepfather told Charlie I was gone. He hated Charlie. He hated me. Most of all, he hated our relationship. He knew Charlie wouldn't take that news well, and he actually had the nerve to show up in our hospital room. If it weren't for the look on my mother's face, I would have made that man pay. He's lucky for my mother's love and unawareness of the situation. I'll never forgive him for hurting Charlie...
I'm awaiting for Charlie to wake up. It feels like I've been waiting for an eternity, but it doesn't matter..I'll wait as long as it takes, I just want to know he's okay. Charlie is my only reason to live. Without him, I'd have taken my own life so long ago.
I think I'll begin to finish this up..Its getting more difficult to continue writing. I've tried to put a smile on my face and convince everyone I'm okay. They've all had so much to worry about, I can't bare to add to that. Everyone is asking me how I feel and I have to lie every time. How can I tell them, "It hurts.", "I don't want to feel this way anymore. Just unhook the machines and let me go.", "I cry when none of you are here to see."? I can't..thats the thing. I'm going to continue to endure this though, for Charlie's sake as well as everyone else's, no matter how much its hurting me. I just need Charlie to wake up, I need to look in his eyes again and see that smile that makes all this pain worth dealing with...
I think I just might make it. Everything is going to work out, and soon we'll all return to our normal lives...and I'll never take the love I've been given for granted again..."
Andy did endure it for awhile longer...Only a few moments after Charlie woke up, Andy passed away. He saw that smile he wanted, but it wasn't enough to save him this time.
I want to thank all of you who prayed for the health of Andy and Charlie. Although the prayers were not enough to save my cousin, I'm happy to say that Charlie is still with us today. A part of me is at rest though, because I know Andy will continue to watch us and his spirit will always live with us.
I need an update on how Charlie is doing. I'm going to go CRAZY!!!! ><
AND THAT DAMNED PUPPY IS SO CUTE!!!!!
Ok, I gotta go walking... update in a few...
There's these two really hott guys at Heathers. Jason (20) and Bryan (16). I started to like Jason... until I found out Age mattered to him....
Damnit... age is just a number, geez. It don't matter. If you like the person, you like them. Daaamn.
P.S. Matt is driving me insane!!!! I'm getting so fuckin' annoyed.... the only thing keepin' me from hurtin' someone is... THE PUPPY!!!! SHE'S SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_________________^
Just be glad I'm making several entries a day... instead of one long entry... o.o
I'm at Heather's house now... BLAH BLAH BLAH... lol... we went for a walk... and I couldn't shut up Just like me, huh? Talk Talk Talk TALk TLAK TALK.... Tlak.... Hmm... Time to think of a definition! > Lol
Tlak - Sound an alien (ME! =D) makes. ^_________^
Anywho... my "boyfriend" Matt (Heather's 7 year old uncle) is.... very... very... VERY... weird.... x.X He told me some very.... interesting... stories earlier.... o.o
I'm scare-ed... o.o Yelling... going on.... ><
Anywho. Yelling mostly over >.>
I stayed up all night cause I slept so much yesterday... Lol. I couldn't get to sleep last night. Boy am I glad Zach wasn't on >< He would have had my computer fried in an instant... damn.... And even through all of that... me and him are still close friends, can you believe that?!
Heather and this one guy... Who's-its-face... and he's planning on taking her virginity... Heather's only like... 14... (same age as me). And she thinks it's all funny. She told me he asked her if she ever thought about anal.... she laughed about it.... This guy's in it for the sex, nothing else. He even told her he loved her. I'm worried she might screw her life up.... If she starts deciding she's going to do it with this guy... I'm going to try my hardest to stop her... she's a smart person... I hope she doesn't make the wrong decision....
Oh, and the guy, Who's-its-face, has a gf already. That little player's tryin' to ruin my friend's life. I wont let that happen.
Heather's got a new puppy named Sassy. ^.^ I gotta go to her house and see her (Sassy). She (Heather) says Sassy is -so- cute.... and she has blue eyes!!!!! BLUE!!! =D
Lol comments please ^____^
I was looking at poems... and I stumbled across this one... ;-; I can't stop reading it over and over again... even thought it makes me cry more and more every time I read it....
The wind flows through my hair
And dries the tears from my face
I look around at all the beauty
And think of how it was then
When you loved me with your heart
And promised to never leave
But that was then and this is now
Your love for me is somehow gone
That promise you had made
Is no longer for me to have
To never love you again
That's why my tears fall
To never have that promise
Belong to my heart only
Your love taken from me
In my world of happiness
Never to be at my side
Or in my arms during the night
The wind so cold I shiver
Does not dry the tears
This reminds me of James... so so so much... I can't stop reading it.... ;-; I'm gonna read it again now....
Ok, read it again.... crying more.... ;-;
I'm sticking scotch tape all over myself... >.> Don't ask why... cause I don't know why.... I'm just BORED ><
I painted my dresser.... ._. I'm getting my new bed next week... YAY!!!!! =D ^.^ I'm happy!!!
I'm going to rearrange my room.... again.... for the millionth time this year
I forgot what I was going to type... Dammit >< Lol.
Emo...E-Emo... E-E-Emo. Don't ask >< I'm bored!!!
I want a giant elephant shaped monkey suit >.>......^________^
This is my collection of DVDs:
When The Bough Breaks, Red Skelton, MonkeyBone, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, The Borrowers, Dead Like Me, Sliders, Bruce Almighty, The Bride, Beauty and the Beast, Shrek 2, Shrek, Labyrinth, Sweet Home Alabama, Lilo & Stitch, Betsy's Wedding, Peter Pan (<3<3<3), Johnny English, Don't Say a Word, Matrix, Matrix Reloaded, There's Something About Mary, The Day After Tomorrow, APPLESEED, Shirley Temple Shorts.
Now those are just the DVD's laying around my room... there's a lot more in the living room o.o
Now I'm going to list artists on my WinAMP list.... o.o
Miyavi, APC (A Perfect Circle), Aerosmith, Atreyu, Black Eyed Peas, BoA, Koda Kumi, Shinhwa, Bowling For Soup, Boys II Men, Clay Aiken, Dana Carvey (comedy, Dana Carvey RULES ^.^), Dir En Grey, Do as Infinity, Evanescence, Fountains of Wayne, Gackt, Godsmack, Goo Goo Dolls, Green Day, Ken Hirai, Hoobastank, Jack Off Jill, Jade, J-Lo, Jewel, Joe Nichols, (That acoustics song by Kayjay), Kittie, L'Arc~En~Ciel, Lords of Acid, Malice Mizer, Marylin Manson, Metallica, Nanasa Aikawa, Nickleback, Oda Kazumasa, Orange Range, Orgy, P.O.D., Pink Floyd, (Rurouni Kenshin End Theme), Savage Garden, Se7en, Selena, Shakira, SM Town, System of A Down, T.M. Revolution, The 69 Eyes, The Killers, The Rasmus, Uncle Cracker, Ayumi Hamasaki, Within Temptation.
o.o Wow... I didn't realize I had that much music on my computer... o.o Well... really it's not that much... but when you put it like that, it looks like it is... I only have 139 songs on my computer >.>
Anyway.... I slept a lot today... I went to bed somewhere around 2 AM, then woke up around 8 AM, then went back to sleep around 8:30 AM, then woke up around 10 AM, then went back to sleep around 10:15 AM, then woke up at 2 PM, then went back to sleep around 2:25 PM, then woke up around 5 PM.... o.o 6+1 1/2+4+4 1/2=17.... o.o I slept 17 hours...? Did I do my math right? -blink blink- Lets see... 24-17=7.... Damn... o.o Too much math... I got lost... x.X Anyone care to do my math for me? =D Lol
Ok, I would be making like... a whole lot of entries about how much I miss Charlie... but I don't really wanna freak everyone out and make everyone hate me, so I'll just leave it to this...
I really really really miss Charlie and I hope he wakes up soon.... I'm so so soo glad Andy woke up... but Charlie's still out... and I was so close to Charlie, ya know? Yeah... ._. I MISS CHARLIE!!!!
I'm cleaning my room... one little spot at a time.... Two days ago, I cleaned like... 1/4 of my room... ._. That space feels so empty.... and yesterday, I cleaned off the top of my drawers.... one of them is going to be taken out of my room, and the other I'm going to paint ^_____^ I havn't decided what color(s) to paint it yet, tho..... o.o.
I'm supposed to be getting a new bed soon! It's going to be one of those bunk beds where the bottom bunk is bigger than the top bunk, ya know? Yeah.... and on the top bunk, I'm going to put a strip of board or something on the bed... and put my computer up there... that way I can lay down on my bed while I'm talking to all my friends, and without the usage of a phone
Lol I'm weird, I know. ^.^ But that's why everyone loves me, right? o.o Well, that's why the people who do love me, love me.... wait... what? -blink- I just confused myself...again >< Lol oh well... ^____^ I'm hyper. At the rate I'm going, I'll have a clean room by the end of the month =D!!! YAY! ^.^ My room's going to be so much better when it's done. I've gotta see my new bed before I paint my dresser though, so that I don't paint it the wrong color... and have my room looking all....ick..... <.<...Yeaaaah lol.