zombiefun's Blog

-::This Is Killing Me::-
Date: Aug 26th, 2005 4:00:10 am - Subscribe
Mood: bleh




....

....I can't balance out school, work, and my personal life..

..Right now, I'm an emotional mess.. But, out of all the emotions I feel right now, I feel sorry the most.. I don't know why, but, I think I make peoples' lives much much worse than they already are, no matter what anyone says about it..

When I was at work tonight, I was thinking," Why the Hell am I even here doing all of this?"

One answer: For Nicholas.

Let's see.. If I didn't have him I wouldn't care about doing good in school, working to have money, or even being alive for that matter. It may seem stupid to say those things, but they are true.

I need money for when we are older, and for gas so we can drive to see eachother.

I do well in school now so that my dad would allow him to come visit me.

And, the only reason I feel like I'm even living is for him..

...

.. I feel so.. I don't know.. I hate myself right now, I'm such a fucking dumbass.. And a crybaby..

I'm leaving now..

Bye.


Comments: (2)

anonymous - August 26th, 2005 Well .. I'm glad I motivate you, but if doing these things is putting so much stress on you, then maybe you should just slow down a little bit? I'd love to visit you, but if it's going to drive you into the ground in the meantime, then maybe we can figure out an alternative way of getting it to happen. I love you, Haley. You know I do, and I know you love me, too. I don't want you to feel bad, but there doesn't seem to be much I can do about it. Just do what's best for you. Love you. <3<2

rememberme - August 26th, 2005 You aren't a crybaby, Haley, and you certainly aren't a dumbass. You're getting yourself stressed out over things. You're only sixteen, you seem to be putting too much pressure on yourself. Just relax a bit, take things slow. Nicholas will still be there in the future, so will work. Try to concentrate more on school than money for when you get older. I'm sure Nicholas doesn't want you stressing yourself completely over things.

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