-::What The Hell Is Wrong With Me?::-
Date: Jul 29th, 2005 2:08:22 pm - Subscribe
Mood: Sorry
Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that I don't care about other peoples' feelings?

I feel like I have been a really big prick lately, not to just a few people, but to everyone.

Like lastnight around 12 I was playing around in Photoshop 7.0 and talking to Nicholas, I told him I was drawing a fat cat, he said his cat was a little fat, and I said," Because you're fat, too." And most of you know already, when I say something mean, you know I don't really mean it. He should know that he's not fat, if anyones fat it's me.


I tried to make things better between us, but I think I only made things worse and the fact that I'm a big fucking baby doesn't help me at all.

So, I logged off of Yahoo! and went to bed without an," I love you." Which is really weird when you hear it every night before bed.

As soon as I hit the bed I stared crying, telling myself that he probably hated me now or something, but then again, who doesn't hate me?

Sarah says I should just stay away from E-boys because they stress me out. Uh, hello? You fucking retard, everyone stresses me out and you're one of the people who piss me off the most along side my dad.

So.. I'm just sitting here thinking now, as I wait to be picked up for another day of lame ass work..

Right now I keep thinking about Nicholas and I, how long our relationship is going to last and such like that. I would like it to last forever, but it seems by the way I have been acting towards him that that's not going to happen.. Which just fruthers my depression. He says I don't need him, he might think that I don't, but I really do need him. If I didn't have him right now, I'd be in such a mess, not just with my emotions, but with other people.

He's so fucking imortant to me, I don't even think he knows how much. Even thinking about not having him with me anymore is starting to make me cry, so I need to stop writing.

Bye..

Comments: (2)

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Comments:

xmidnightx - July 29th, 2005
tell him then! im sure he knows you were joking! talk to him, it will make things better! as long as you are positive! positive is good! lol! always look on the brightside and you will go far! and here is a huggle *virtual huggles* because you were crying

you have the attention of my enitre shoulder if you may need it

anonymous - July 30th, 2005
=( Believe me, I know how hard the "e-boys" thing can be.

I don't think you're a "big prick", and you certainly aren't fat, so none of that. Haley, you've been my friend since what, third grade? Fourth? If I thought you were a horrible person who didn't care about the feelings of anyone else, I'd have stopped being friends with you years ago. But thats the thing, you're not. You've always been an amazing person and a great friend. If I ever need someone to talk to or a good laugh, I know who to turn to.

I'm sure things will sort themselves out soon enough. If you and Nicholas truely care about one another, everything will be okay. I know how you always joke around, I'm sure he'll understand, even if it takes some time.
Sorry anonymous, this user does not allow double comments to be posted.